Testing the waters

Since returning to the states on January 6th, 2011, my life has been a whirlwind of trial and error.

Trial - Wondering if thinking back to Thailand too much will cause me to not adjust well to the U.S.

Error - Since this is the case, I honestly haven't been able to bring myself to think of Thailand too much these days. It just hurts my heart right now. I'm hoping that one day soon this will pass, because I love experiencing my memories from Thailand. I can revisit bits and pieces of my journey there, but dwelling brings sadness and longing.

Trial - Believing that we would get professional jobs fairly easily as soon as we got back to the states.

Error - This was definitely not true. But I will joyfully work full time at Cracker Barrel if this is God's plan. (interview there tomorrow!)

Trial - I will get things done if I don't set a schedule for myself

Error - This is so not true. I need discipline, and a schedule. I MUST live with purpose.

Trial - Being overseas helped me become more outgoing, therefore it's easier for me to make friends than before.

Error - While part of this is true, no matter how many friends I make, they won't 100% relate to me because they weren't there with me for those four months. This is the elephant in the room, and I don't know how to verbalize my journey very well.

Trial - Believing I could somehow become content in any situation since I went through so much in Asia.

Error - Mostly true, although I did subconsciously resolve to dislike Florida when I first got here. It's growing on me, though. The 70 + degree weather in January is helping some :) I think because it reminds me of Asia.

I didn't expect to just go back to the way things were. Besides the fact that I'm living in a state I've never lived in before, there's the obvious factor of adapting to a different culture. I have Asian blood in me now.

Having images like this in my head and in my heart will never let me be the same.